Next time, please keep these thoughts to yourself…

  1. I’m in the grocery store, when this man comes up to me and says, “Are you the marathon runner?” I wasn’t quite sure how to respond, when he helped me out and said, I saw a car with a 26.2 sticker on the back window and thought it must be you. “Okay, yep, that’s me.” He continued, “what kind of stretches do you do? I’d like to show you some here if you don’t mind?” Akward!? How do you respond to that. Well, given that we were standing in the middle of a grocery store isle I was thankful that there wasn’t enough room for him to demonstrate his stretches on me. Again, Akward!?
  2. I was running on the prairie path when a woman passed me on a bike and said, “You look great, only thing is your back looks a little crooked. You should work on fixing that.” Well, ok, thanks for evaluating my running gait.
  3. I’m great at saying things without first thinking. I especially love to mess up idioms…like this one…”That’s like biting off your nose to spite your face.” Wait, that doesn’t sound totally right.
  4. Another good one from me; giving directions to a homeless shelter to a poorly dressed man who looked like he hadn’t had a shower in a few days. I’m sure he was very confused by our converstaion until he figured out I was directing him to the nearest shelter. “What!? Wait!? You think I’m homeless? I’m not homeless? Oops, seriously there’s really no recovering from that…

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