You said what!?

1. Rachael age 4: As I’m drying Rachael’s hair I notice she is studying herself in the mirror when she suddenly asks, “Mom, who do you think I look like?” “Well,” I respond, “with your blue eyes and blond hair you certainly don’t look like me, so who do YOU think you look like.” “I don’t know, Mom. I was thinking I look a lot like George Washington. We have the same hair.” What!? I was thinking maybe, dad, grandma, my brother, but definitely George Washington wasn’t one that came to mind!?
2. Tommy, age 9: Last year when I was homeschooling Tommy we were studying Abraham Lincoln. I said to him, “Tommy, can you believe that Abraham Lincoln had 3 sons that died.” “Actually, Mom,” he responded, “Abraham Lincoln had 4 sons that died.” Well, duh!? It’s 2012 of course Abraham Lincoln doesn’t have any living sons!
3. Leah, age 6: After spending quite a bit of time on my hair and make-up and feeling as if I looked very presentable for the day, I smiled at Leah. She looked at me a bit too closely and said, “Mom, why do you have a brown tooth.” What!? A brown tooth, you’re in kindergarten, you should know your colors by now, it’s more like yellow! And it’s from drinking too much coffee! Immediatley, I wanted to call the dentist and schedule a whitening appointment.
4. My boys were at Leah’s gymnastic’s meet and would not stop telling me how boring it was. I finally turned to them and said, “I do NOT want to hear the word boring or bored come out of your mouth one more time!” A couple minutes later Steven turned to Tommy and said, “Tommy, isn’t this the most un-sophisticated event you’ve ever been to?” From then on, they thought it was amusing to use any other word to describe her meet except boring.
5. Tommy age 2: Out of the blue from the back seat of the car, “Mom, I can SNAP and say PORTUGUESE!?” Wow, that’s some talent, Son!!
6. Steven age 3: After listening to the song “Leaning on the everlasting Arms,” Steven says to me “Mom, I like this song because it says, “safe and secure from all alarms.” That means we can ride our bikes without helmets in heaven and the police won’t get us!”
7. Leah, age 5: Leah was looking at a picture of my cousin, Hannah. I told her that everyone used to say Hannah and I looked a lot alike, in which she responded, “Well, maybe, but you definitely have a lot more lines on your face.” Thanks a lot!!
8. Steve, age 8: “Hey, Mom, did you know your like 4,232 years old in dog years!?” Seriously!? No, I’m not! It’s my age x 7! Not my age x 130 something!
9. Rachael, age 4: Rachael came home from preschool very upset because she had the shortest hair in her class. Her eyes were flowing with tears and in between sobs she said to me, “I’m going to my room and I’m going to pray that Jesus will make my hair grow long.” A couple minutes later I hear her open her door and yell to me, “Mom!! Jesus doesn’t like me because my hair isn’t growing!!!” Rachael, some things do take time!
10. My sons were 4 and 6 and I thought it was time to teach them the appropriate word for their “male part.” Without naming which son I turned to one of them and asked, “do you know the real word for your…?” With a little giggle he replied, “No.” So, I said, “Well it’s called a penis.” “What!? A Peanut!? I love peanuts!? That was it! No more sex talks from mom, dad can have that responsibility.
11. Driving in the car with my kids I asked them, “What was the most interesting or important thing you learned in school today?” Each of my home-schooled kids answered with a good response. Steven, who was the only one at a public school answered by saying, “I learned that it’s not a good idea to throw cheese balls at lunch.”
12. My mom worked as a 2nd grade teacher. One day during school a little boy said, “Miss Rexilius, you smell so good.” “Why thank you, Philip!” No, Miss Rexilius I mean you smell really, really good.” “Thanks, Philip!” “Yes, Miss Rexilius, you smell just like corn!!!
13. Leah found some heart-shaped measuring spoons in the kitchen drawer. She thought they were “so cool.” So cool, in fact that she told me, “Mom, make sure the other kids know that I get these when you die!” What!? You guys are making dibs on that all ready!! If it means that much to you, Leah, you can have them now!