Category Archives: Chaos

Who’s worse the dog or the kids? Today…the dog, definitely the dog!

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Today at 7:30am I received a call from my daughter, Leah. She was at school and told me she had forgotten two very important papers that needed to be turned in today, no exceptions. Ugh! I had reminded her this morning NOT to forget the papers on the counter.

I just had foot surgery on February 17th. I am suppose to be resting and elevating my foot. I’m not really suppose to be up and about yet. But, I finally decided that I would drive my boys to school and then drive down the street to Leah’s school and drop off the two papers.

When the boys and I got in the car, our little nine pound dog followed us out as well and jumped in. The only reason Mocha got in the car, was because she probably thought we were going to our neighbor’s house. They also have a dog, Phoebe. And Mocha and Phoebe love to play together. Never did I imagine in my adult life, that I would be setting up “doggie play-dates.” (Insert eye roll) I told Mocha she was going to be disappointed when she realized we were just going to the school. Never did I imagine in my adult life that I would be talking to a dog! (Insert second eye roll)

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I arrived at the school and decided it would be best to park by the front curb, you know the place it says, “NO PARKING.” After all I was only going in for a second. I also decided I would turn on my hazard lights and leave the car running, and of course I didn’t need to bring my cell phone in the building. It was only going to take two minutes to drop off the papers. I made sure no one was looking as I got out of the car in a cast (on my right leg) and grabbed my crutches. As I made my way around the front of the car, I heard that noise…you know, the noise the car makes when it’s just been locked!  MOCHA!  Mocha had stepped on the lock and locked me out of the car! Never in my adult life did I imagine getting locked out of my car by a dog!! (Insert third eye roll and angry face)

I had no choice but to hobble into the school building on crutches, give the secretary Leah’s papers and then humbly say, “May I please borrow your phone? I actually parked on the curb, left the car running, and my dog locked me out of the car?” They were so nice about it and offered to call the police. I wanted to call my dad.(insert sad face) I was a little concerned the police would wonder about the situation when they saw me on crutches, where my car was parked, a dog inside the car… (insert nervous face)

I didn’t really have any other choice, so they called the police for me. They were told that the officer would call them back as soon as she got back into her car. In the mean-time I sat down to embarrassingly wait it out.

I forgot to mention, given the fact that I recently had surgery and I’m not really suppose to be up doing much, I was not as presentable as I should have been. I was wearing the shirt I slept in, hadn’t brushed my hair, had make-up smeared on my face from the day before, etc…let’s just say I could have really used a shower before going out into public.

After about 5-10 minutes of waiting the secretary got up and looked out the window. As she looked out the window she said, “Wait…WAIT, I think the dog is rolling down the window!” “Yes, YEP, the dog just rolled down the window!” I grabbed my crutches and hobbled out of the office as the secretary held the doors open for me. Sure enough, MOCHA, oh sweeet Mocha, (insert 4th eye roll ) rolled down the window so I could get back into the car!

As I was getting into the car to drive away the Principal ran out and came over to my window and said, “I sure wish we had gotten all of that on video tape!”

I’m thinking Mocha knowingly locked me out of the car on purpose because I took her to the school and not to Phoebe’s house. Thankfully, it only lasted a few minutes before she let me back in! When we got home Phoebe’s mom called to see if Mocha could play. I said, “No, she’s grounded this week!” (insert last eye roll)

Disclaimer: I never leave the dog alone in the car for several minutes or hours in extreme temperatures. The dog was not hurt. The owner, highly embarrassed.

You Don’t Want To Go To Disney?

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Rachael has been waiting for over two weeks for this up-coming Friday. She was invited, with a few other girls, to a friend’s house for a sleep-over, to celebrate the beginning of Christmas break. They each drew Secret Santa names and Rachael immediately wanted to go to the store to pick out the perfect present. It’s been hard for her to keep it a secret. In fact, yesterday she had a friend over, and I heard them whispering about Secret Santas. I have a feeling it might not be so secret anymore. Rachael is more than thrilled about this! She thinks this will be the best way to spend the first day of Christmas Vacation!

Until…I deflated her excitement by telling her she couldn’t sleep-over, nor stay at the party the entire time. For Rachael, this was the worst news ever. Why, wouldn’t I let her stay!!?? It wasn’t fair! I was mean! I ruined everything!

Happy Rae

Rachael’s mad face when she was two

The reason she can’t stay  is that we have a family trip planned. She doesn’t know this. She thinks we are simply going to Indiana to visit her grandma and grandpa. So, Rachael, is upset. She told me she could, “care-less about going to Indiana, we were just there!” “All I want to do is go to the Christmas party!!” “IT’S NOT FAIR!!”

What Rachael doesn’t know, is that we are by-passing Indiana and going to Florida and not only Florida, but to Disney World. The Magic Kingdom. A place were she has begged and begged to visit. A Christmas wish put on her gift list year after year. And this year, it will not only be a wish but a reality. Something far better than a one-night, Christmas party, sleep-over, is waiting in her future. But, she has no idea, so she would rather, without knowing, settle, for the sleepover.

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This made me think, how many times have I had my heart set on something, an athletic dream, the perfect job, a relationship, a new house; there are so many things that can fill-in that blank. I’ve desired them with all my might only to have God close the door on what seemed to be the perfect opportunity. I hear God say, “No, not that!” “Not this time.” And,  I’ve reacted with anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment. I thought that, my plan was the best and that it wasn’t fair that God wasn’t allowing me to take hold of it! I wonder how many times He has had to pry my hands open to get me to let go of a “dream,” because I’m too stubborn to give it up.

Isn’t this what Rachael is doing with the sleep-over. She can only see so much, she only knows so much. She has no idea what’s ahead. If she knew we were going to Disney World, she would easily let-go of the sleepover to grab hold of the “grand-prize.” But, she doesn’t know what’s down the road. So, there’s a battle, a fight, she doesn’t want to give up the party, she wants to win.

How many times do I do this with God?  I don’t know why He closes doors that look like excellent opportunities. I don’t know why He says, “No,” when the situation looks perfect. But, I have to trust Him, because He sees the path ahead. When I let go of what looks like the excellent opportunity, it is only then when He can show me what really is the ULTIMATE opportunity. And it is then, when I realize what I was so stubbornly  holding on to, pales in comparison to what He desires to give me.

I know that Rachael wants to celebrate the start of Christmas vacation with a Christmas party, Secret-Santa sleep-over, but if she lets it go, she will find that there is so much more joy and surprise waiting for her down the road. She will be so thankful that she gave up the party to receive something so much better. I hope that I can learn this lesson in life. I want to be willing to let go of what I want and allow God to lead me on His perfect path!

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

 

“Mom, Who Do I Look Like?”

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“There was a little girl, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead,
And when she was good, she was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.”
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

This is Rachael, my ten year old, blond-haired, blue-eyed little girl. She has one of the biggest smiles and personalities I know. She wears her heart on her sleeve and it’s never hard to figure out what she’s thinking or feeling. And if you can’t figure it out, she’s sure to tell you in her sweet and kind ten year old voice, or her madder than mad, you better get out of my way or you’ll end up hurt, voice. (We are working on the latter aspect of her personality) There’s never a dull moment with this child and she’s never afraid to speak exactly what’s on her mind. In fact, just the other day, after making her lunch she told me, “Mom, you should try out for that show, “Worst cooks in America, you’d have a good chance of winning $25,000 and a new kitchen set from Kohls!” I couldn’t help but laugh because she was one-hundred percent, sweetly serious.

A few years ago, in the morning, while I was blow-drying her hair to get her ready for pre-school, she stood in front of the mirror, studying herself, and said to me, “Mom, who do you think I look like?” Instead of responding I decided to ask her the rhetorical question, “Rachael, who do you think you look like?” Without a moment of hesitation, she simply stated, “Well, mom, I think I look exactly like George Washington!”

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Ok, I’m going to admit that kind of took me by surprise!? I knew for certain she wasn’t going to say she looked like me. But George Washington was the last person I would have considered. I thought she would state the obvious, that with her blue-eyes and blond-hair she looked just like her dad. Or maybe even her older brother, Steven, who has the same color hair and eyes, but I definitely wasn’t expecting George!!?

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This conversation still makes me laugh today and I like to tease Rachael and ask her if she still thinks she looks like the Father of her country. But this conversation also makes me think, who do I want Rachael to look like? Who do I want people to see when they look at Rachael, and not only Rachael, but my other kids, and myself included. Wouldn’t it be great if they could look at us and say, they look like their Father, they have His eyes…

“Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help just can’t be found
Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain
Knowin’ what you’re going through,
and feeling it the same…”
(Amy Grant – “Father’s Eyes”)

Rachael, I think it’s great that at one point in your life you thought you resembled George Washington. I don’t think there are too many little girls who have stood in front of the mirror and announced, “I look just like George!”  It made me laugh. You make me laugh. And I pray that as you grow in your relationship with the Lord that you will desire to strive to look just like your Father in heaven.

Beautiful Chaos

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This picture can serve as a good representation of my life as a mother. Chaos!

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I’m not even sure who took the picture. Maybe the store manager to warn his employees not to let us back into the store.

My oldest child, Tommy, is obviously mad at something. Rachael is out of control flying her cart into who knows what and in the process taking out whatever is in her path. Leah looks like she’s trying to be on her best behavior, and then Steven is MIA. Chaos. Not at all what I pictured our quick stop at the grocery store to look like!

When we walked into the store the girls asked if they could have a cart. In my head I had the image of a nice, calm, shopping adventure in which they wanted to help out. How cute! In the end I’m very surprised we didn’t hear an announcement on the loud speaker asking us to leave the store.

This photograph can also help to sum up my days of Motherhood.

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My kids and I were sitting down enjoying a wonderful breakfast together, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, the table collapsed, fell apart, and that was the end of breakfast.

I’ve made plans. I’ve had dreams. I’ve had visions of how my life as a mother would play out. Only to realize that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, life can get very chaotic, and the best of schedules can give way, crumble, and leave me wondering if I’m really doing things right!

I’ve missed appointments, even though I have them written down on the calendar AND in my phone. I’ve forgotten about early dismissal days at school. I’ve locked my keys in the car way too many times to count. In fact, the last time I did that, the guy arrived to help me out and I realized it was the same guy from the time before. After a few minutes he did a double take and said, “Hey! Didn’t I help you out about two weeks ago on the opposite side of the street?” I was hoping he wouldn’t remember me!

I’ve closed the door to the house only to realize I just locked everybody out. I’ve sent my oldest to school with a brown paper bag full of onions instead of a brown paper bag full of lunch (I’ll explain that in another post!) I’ve run over bicycles left in the driveway. I’ve gotten lost on my way to gymnastic meets and basketball games more times then I’d like to admit. The list could go on and on. But, needless to say, I don’t have it all together! I’m always rushing from one place to the next wondering how I’m going to get it all done. I’m constantly trying to make sure Tommy, Steven, Leah, and Rachael have what they need and get to where they need to go. My house is always loud with children talking, yelling, laughing, fighting. And if that isn’t enough there’s always friends, nieces, nephews, and babies that need care.

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Chaos! But, I’m learning to love it. Because one day I know the Chaos will turn to quiet . There won’t be clothes on the floor, hand prints on the walls, dishes piled in the sink, homework to finish, and lunches to be made. The house will be too quiet and too clean and I’ll be left wondering, “how did they grow up so fast?”

So in the time being, in the chaos, I smile, I embrace it, I thank God for it. I look for the magnificent in the mess and the splendor in the silliness.

And it’s in the morning, when I walk into my child’s room to wake her up, that I find her artwork,

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And for the moment, the mistakes I’ve made and will make as a mother vanish, and I get that small glimmer of hope that I just might be doing things right. And I thank Christ for the privilege of being a mother and I realize that He truly can “make the chaos a chorus.”