Do I Have The Strength?

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I find it fascinating that often times when I write about a specific topic, I will soon discover that I am thrown into the midst of a situation where I am personally tested on that particular belief. About a month ago I wrote a blog on waiting, not just waiting, but “waiting patiently on the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14) I was thinking this blog would be “part one” of a series of blogs on waiting. Little did I know, that while I was writing part one, God already held, in His hands, part two.

It took one phone call for God to lead me into the waiting. One call that has left me not knowing what’s around the next corner. The unknown. The waiting. One call that started a host of worry and a collage of imagery containing many “what ifs…” One call that stirred up fear and anxiety and other emotions and questions I wasn’t expecting. One call which led to the creation of all the worst-case scenarios the future might hold.

And then, one hushed whisper from God that said, STOP! Let it go. Do not speculate into the future. Stay in the present and come to Me. Seek Me. You will find me in the waiting. I am here. You can trust Me. And when you fully trust me, you can give Me your worry, your anxious thoughts, your fear, your future. I will fill you with “strength as you wait with a divine quietness and trust.” (Isaiah 30:15) This surpasses all understanding. This is patiently waiting for Me. And as you patiently wait upon Me, you will find a renewed strength, a strong strength. You are not strong enough to face the trials of life that are coming your way, but I am. Put your confidence in Me. Hope in Me. Look to Me for help and expect that I will come to your aid and deliver you. If you let me, I will exchange your weak strength and dress you, with my divine hands, in strong garments of My strength. Trust in anticipation and watch and see that “your strength will rise as you wait upon Me.  (Isaiah 40:31)

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“And I anxiously wait as I hold onto love that will never let go…won’t you remind me, that I’m not alone. Here in the waiting. All of the questions, secret confessions, Lord, you’ll make sense of it all. And I know you’ll show up, so I’m letting go of these thoughts that are taking control. This is the waiting.” (Jamie Grace)

Rest that Endures

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“Come out of sadness, from wherever you’ve been, come brokenhearted let rescue begin. Come find your mercy, Oh sinner, come kneel. Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal. So lay down your burdens, lay down your shame, all who are broken lift up your face. Oh, wanderer come home, you’re not too far, so lay down your hurt, lay down your heart, come as you are. There’s hope for the hopeless and all those who’ve strayed. Come sit at his table, come taste of His grace. There’s rest for the weary, rest that endures. Earth has no sorry that Heaven can’t cure. So come as you are. Fall in His arms. There’s joy for the morning, oh sinner, be still. Earth has no sorrow that heaven can’t heal.”

(David Crowder)

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Today I’m resting in the presence of God. Trusting that He is who He says He is. Remembering, that even when life is hard and painful I serve a God that desires to bind  my broken-heart and mend my wounds. My Savior beckons me when I am “weary and  heavy burdened, to come to Him and find rest.” (Matthew 11:28) My Sweet, Sweet Lord, who promises me “my tears may last for the night, but rejoicing will come in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5) He shows me that in the midst of danger and distress, He will quite my mind and show me His faithfulness. I do not have to bow down under the source of my sorrow because “He is the lifter of my head,” (Psalm 3:3) ready and willing to restore my dignity and honor for His glory. He summons me to come home and to be still, as he “prepares a table for me, in the wilderness. He invites me to sit and taste of His great goodness and love.” (Psalm 34:8) I come, just as I am, into His presence, wrapped in His arms, without any fear or dread of what tomorrow holds. “Yes, my soul finds rest in my God; my hope comes from Him.” (Psalm 62:5)

Goliath

I love the story of David, the little shepherd boy who defeated Goliath. There were these big men, trained soldiers, who went out to face Goliath and couldn’t derail him. But yet, when David, who was just a child, went to battle against the giant he slayed him using only a sling and five little stones.

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When the soldiers confronted Goliath, they saw Goliath. Their discussion centered around Goliath. He was their fear, their focus. When David went out to face Goliath he talked about God. Not Goliath, but God. God was His Focus. Does he see Goliath? Of course! You can’t not see him. But he doesn’t key in on him. He lifts his eyes to the only One who can thwart the giant.

If, for just one second, David removed His eyes from the Victor and saw the enemy, he would have been consumed by His fears. He would have noticed that he was just a little boy facing a massive monster. His cry would not have been a battle cry but a cry to retreat. David left his eyes trained on the Champion who could win the war. David was “God-focused, not giant-focused.”

Our enemy would like nothing else than to see us get up each morning, only to fall under the fear of our giants. Our Goliath may not come to us in “flesh and blood” (Ephesians 6:12) but he waves swords of defeat, shame, guilt, depression. He walks “through your office, your bedroom, your classroom. He brings bills you can’t pay, grades you can’t make, people you can’t please, whiskey you can’t resist, pornography you can’t refuse, a career you can’t escape, a past you can’t shake, and a future you can’t face.” (Max Lucado) Goliath wants to be the first thing we think about in the morning and the last thing we worry about in the evening. But I’m not willing to give in to that. I want to see God more. I want to start my day with God, not with Goliath. I want to end my day with God, not with the giant.

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My Goliath may come and go or he might not ever be removed. But I know, I have a choice. I can either buckle under the intimidation of Goliath or I can look past the giant, focus on the God of angel armies, and wait in thankful anticipation knowing that the “battle belongs to the Lord.” (1 Samuel 17:47)

(Inspired by 1st Samuel 17 and the Book, Facing Your Giants, by Max Lucado)

Waiting, Patiently Waiting Part I

“Wait patiently for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)

Wait patiently? That seems like an oxymoron!? I don’t like to wait. In fact, I don’t know many people who enjoy waiting. Waiting is the last thing we seem to have time for when immediate gratification is at our fingertips. But yet, God instructs us to wait, and not only wait, but wait patiently.

Recently, I’ve been reminded just how much of life consists of waiting. Every day, every week, every month, every year we are left waiting. Waiting for a new promotion, waiting for health to be restored, waiting for a second chance, waiting for reconciliation in a relationship, waiting for test results, waiting to overcome hardships, struggles, addictions, and so on and so on. How do we find the strength to wait patiently for the Lord?

I was given the perfect imagery for this waiting process when I went out to water our little herb plants. (How they’ve survived under my care is a great mystery. I wasn’t given a green thumb and my kids are convinced that I can kill a plant just by looking at it!) But on this day, camouflaged in the parsley, I found this little creature nibbling it’s way up the herb. How Beautiful! He was perfect! Stunning! I was amazed at God’s handiwork and the intrinsic designs on this caterpillar.

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 When I showed him to my girls, of course, they wanted to put him in a jar and create the ideal habitat for him to wrap himself into a cocoon.

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We watched as he scarfed down the parsley and climbed his way to the perfect spot on the twig. We even noticed as he maneuvered into an awkward position and spun his first piece of silk.

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Within the next few hours we saw him transform from a remarkable caterpillar into a cocoon.

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A cocoon that is now far from beautiful. It appears ugly and worn. Where is the artistry, the elegance, the grace?  This is the waiting. The point in which life is put on hold. Limbo. Knowing what once was, but not sure of what’s to come. The waiting. A hard stop in life. Waiting.

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“What will it look like? What will it be like? When my world turns out like you planned. When will I get there? Feels like I’m nowhere. My dreams are like dust in my hand. But I know, this is the waiting. I anxiously wait, as I hold on to love that won’t ever let go, and in these times when my patience is tested, won’t you remind me that I’m not alone, here in the waiting.” (Jamie Grace)

Waiting, Waiting Patiently for Part II

“Prone to Wander…”

January 1st 2013

I turn to the first page of my new journal…

A clean sheet of paper

A blank canvas

So pristine, unblemished, and expectant.

I hesitate to write the first word.

Intimidation stares back at me in fear that making the first mark will ruin it’s purity.

It reminds me of the New Year.

Even with the best of intentions, it doesn’t take me long to take something completely flawless and stain it with mistakes and failures.

I’m thankful that the Creator of the Universe gives me more than just a New Year to start over. He surely knows that I need more than that!

With a New Year I’m given twelve new months to start over,

and with each month I have four new weeks to start fresh,

and with each week I have seven new days to make better choices,

and with each day I have twenty-four hours to wipe the slate clean,

and with each hour I have sixty minutes to start again.

A New Year

A New Month

A New Week

A New Day

A New Hour

A New Minute

This year leaves me with many, many new beginnings and choices to start over. This isn’t an excuse to rationalize sin. It is Christ’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness.  I have a choice that comes year to year, month to month, hour to hour, minute to minute to live for myself and temporal gain or to pick up my cross daily and live for Christ and the eternal.

I leave 2012 in the past, with my mistakes and my regrets and start 2013 with these words…

“O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.”