Category Archives: Parenting

You Don’t Want To Go To Disney?

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Rachael has been waiting for over two weeks for this up-coming Friday. She was invited, with a few other girls, to a friend’s house for a sleep-over, to celebrate the beginning of Christmas break. They each drew Secret Santa names and Rachael immediately wanted to go to the store to pick out the perfect present. It’s been hard for her to keep it a secret. In fact, yesterday she had a friend over, and I heard them whispering about Secret Santas. I have a feeling it might not be so secret anymore. Rachael is more than thrilled about this! She thinks this will be the best way to spend the first day of Christmas Vacation!

Until…I deflated her excitement by telling her she couldn’t sleep-over, nor stay at the party the entire time. For Rachael, this was the worst news ever. Why, wouldn’t I let her stay!!?? It wasn’t fair! I was mean! I ruined everything!

Happy Rae

Rachael’s mad face when she was two

The reason she can’t stay  is that we have a family trip planned. She doesn’t know this. She thinks we are simply going to Indiana to visit her grandma and grandpa. So, Rachael, is upset. She told me she could, “care-less about going to Indiana, we were just there!” “All I want to do is go to the Christmas party!!” “IT’S NOT FAIR!!”

What Rachael doesn’t know, is that we are by-passing Indiana and going to Florida and not only Florida, but to Disney World. The Magic Kingdom. A place were she has begged and begged to visit. A Christmas wish put on her gift list year after year. And this year, it will not only be a wish but a reality. Something far better than a one-night, Christmas party, sleep-over, is waiting in her future. But, she has no idea, so she would rather, without knowing, settle, for the sleepover.

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This made me think, how many times have I had my heart set on something, an athletic dream, the perfect job, a relationship, a new house; there are so many things that can fill-in that blank. I’ve desired them with all my might only to have God close the door on what seemed to be the perfect opportunity. I hear God say, “No, not that!” “Not this time.” And,  I’ve reacted with anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment. I thought that, my plan was the best and that it wasn’t fair that God wasn’t allowing me to take hold of it! I wonder how many times He has had to pry my hands open to get me to let go of a “dream,” because I’m too stubborn to give it up.

Isn’t this what Rachael is doing with the sleep-over. She can only see so much, she only knows so much. She has no idea what’s ahead. If she knew we were going to Disney World, she would easily let-go of the sleepover to grab hold of the “grand-prize.” But, she doesn’t know what’s down the road. So, there’s a battle, a fight, she doesn’t want to give up the party, she wants to win.

How many times do I do this with God?  I don’t know why He closes doors that look like excellent opportunities. I don’t know why He says, “No,” when the situation looks perfect. But, I have to trust Him, because He sees the path ahead. When I let go of what looks like the excellent opportunity, it is only then when He can show me what really is the ULTIMATE opportunity. And it is then, when I realize what I was so stubbornly  holding on to, pales in comparison to what He desires to give me.

I know that Rachael wants to celebrate the start of Christmas vacation with a Christmas party, Secret-Santa sleep-over, but if she lets it go, she will find that there is so much more joy and surprise waiting for her down the road. She will be so thankful that she gave up the party to receive something so much better. I hope that I can learn this lesson in life. I want to be willing to let go of what I want and allow God to lead me on His perfect path!

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

 

Why my kids don’t believe in Santa

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Why my kids don’t believe in Santa…

Because one quiet Christmas morning when my sweet and innocent children woke up to open their gifts they realized that Santa had not visited our house on Christmas Eve.

It was not Santa who stuffed his big belly down our chimney and indulged himself with the Christmas cookies and milk that my children had left out for him. It was not Santa that left presents under our tree. No, the gifts my children were tearing into were NOT from Santa at all!!

However, they were from a man who also wears a red-suit, but this man does not have a big round belly, nor does he have a soft white beard, or a deep joyful laugh of “Ho-Ho-Ho.”

Instead, this man, carries a pitch-fork and adornes his head with horns. It was not SANTA who left presents under our tree that year, but it was SATAN, himself!!

You see, I had been up late on Christmas Eve and having three young children at the time, my eyes were heavy with a tiredness only a mother can know. I was quickly  addressing my children’s gift tags, one after another, and in my hurry I signed each one,

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE, SATAN!!

I did not realize my mistake until half-way through the presents when my husband said, “Suzanne, stop for a second, and SLOWLY read the gift tags, are you dyslexic!? Are they all suppose to say Satan or did you mean to write Santa?” My poor children were opening gifts delivered from Satan!? What kind of mother secretly puts presents under the tree and pretends that Satan was the generous gift giver!?

It’s amazing how one can mix up a couple of letters and change the entire mystery of the Christmas experience.

However, like a good parent, I have worked this mistake into my favor! For now, when the Holiday season rolls around I can tell my children that, “they better not shout, they better not pout, they better watch out, I’m telling you why, Satan…will surely come back to town!

Disclaimer – Satan did not really visit our house and no children were hurt or have experienced emotional long term effects by this mistake.

“Mom, Who Do I Look Like?”

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“There was a little girl, who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead,
And when she was good, she was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid.”
(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)

This is Rachael, my ten year old, blond-haired, blue-eyed little girl. She has one of the biggest smiles and personalities I know. She wears her heart on her sleeve and it’s never hard to figure out what she’s thinking or feeling. And if you can’t figure it out, she’s sure to tell you in her sweet and kind ten year old voice, or her madder than mad, you better get out of my way or you’ll end up hurt, voice. (We are working on the latter aspect of her personality) There’s never a dull moment with this child and she’s never afraid to speak exactly what’s on her mind. In fact, just the other day, after making her lunch she told me, “Mom, you should try out for that show, “Worst cooks in America, you’d have a good chance of winning $25,000 and a new kitchen set from Kohls!” I couldn’t help but laugh because she was one-hundred percent, sweetly serious.

A few years ago, in the morning, while I was blow-drying her hair to get her ready for pre-school, she stood in front of the mirror, studying herself, and said to me, “Mom, who do you think I look like?” Instead of responding I decided to ask her the rhetorical question, “Rachael, who do you think you look like?” Without a moment of hesitation, she simply stated, “Well, mom, I think I look exactly like George Washington!”

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Ok, I’m going to admit that kind of took me by surprise!? I knew for certain she wasn’t going to say she looked like me. But George Washington was the last person I would have considered. I thought she would state the obvious, that with her blue-eyes and blond-hair she looked just like her dad. Or maybe even her older brother, Steven, who has the same color hair and eyes, but I definitely wasn’t expecting George!!?

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This conversation still makes me laugh today and I like to tease Rachael and ask her if she still thinks she looks like the Father of her country. But this conversation also makes me think, who do I want Rachael to look like? Who do I want people to see when they look at Rachael, and not only Rachael, but my other kids, and myself included. Wouldn’t it be great if they could look at us and say, they look like their Father, they have His eyes…

“Eyes that find the good in things
When good is not around
Eyes that find the source of help
When help just can’t be found
Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain
Knowin’ what you’re going through,
and feeling it the same…”
(Amy Grant – “Father’s Eyes”)

Rachael, I think it’s great that at one point in your life you thought you resembled George Washington. I don’t think there are too many little girls who have stood in front of the mirror and announced, “I look just like George!”  It made me laugh. You make me laugh. And I pray that as you grow in your relationship with the Lord that you will desire to strive to look just like your Father in heaven.

The Sunflower

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Every day God is so good to give us reminders of who He is and who we are as His children. I’m learning that if I’m actively looking for Him, He is there! Always ready to reveal Himself. This afternoon when I was driving Leah and Rachael home from school we drove past two giant sunflowers. They were absolutely beautiful. To my surprise, Leah, didn’t share my same point of view and voiced her opinion about the sunflower. She told me she thought they were ugly. “What!?”  I said, “Leah, do you know why I think the sunflower is so cool?” Without getting too scientific, (re-calling what I learned as a little girl, and not what I can find on the internet about “solar-tracking” and the misconception of sunflowers), I told her how the sunflower follows the sun.

As soon as the morning breaks, the sunflower is basking in the warmth of the sun. Throughout the day it moves with the sun. From sunrise to sunset, it is always facing the sun. It doesn’t leave the sun’s presence. What happens to the flower if it doesn’t follow the sun? It won’t thrive. It will start to fall over, slump, droop. If the flower is deprived from the sun, its beauty will start to fade. Without the sun there is no flourishing flower.

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And it took just a moment, for God to whisper to me, “This is how I want you to live.” Whether it’s myth or legend, the sunflower reminds me of the perfect example, the exact visual of what God desires His children to do with His Son. We are to be Son followers. In the morning hours we should wake with the Son. We should Seek His presence and soak up His rays. From sunrise to sunset, our “eyes should be fixed on the Author and Perfecter” of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:2) In the warmth of the Son we will find great pleasure and satisfaction. “Planted in the House of the Lord, we will flourish.” (Psalm 92:13)

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the LIGHT of His glory and Grace.”

I WILL RISE

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I WILL RISE

“Do not gloat over me my enemy. Though I have fallen, I WILL RISE.” (Micah 7:8)This poster of Tommy has been hanging in his room since his knee surgery in October 2014. This year we thought it would serve as a reminder of how far he has come. Little did we know that in less than a year he would not be playing in his first varsity football game, but instead be facing the same surgery. So the picture…

It reminds us that not only in football, but in life, we go to battle over and over again. Each time rising back up with more bruises and scars, sometimes feeling as if we can’t go another round. It hurts too much. It would be easier to give up and not get back up and fight, but we know through all the ups and downs God’s power can draw us closer to Him and He can use our wounds for His glory. The enemy can not gloat over us because, “The Lord will fight for us and we need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14) We have no reason to worry when we know the One who holds the Victor’s Crown.

Beautiful Chaos

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This picture can serve as a good representation of my life as a mother. Chaos!

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I’m not even sure who took the picture. Maybe the store manager to warn his employees not to let us back into the store.

My oldest child, Tommy, is obviously mad at something. Rachael is out of control flying her cart into who knows what and in the process taking out whatever is in her path. Leah looks like she’s trying to be on her best behavior, and then Steven is MIA. Chaos. Not at all what I pictured our quick stop at the grocery store to look like!

When we walked into the store the girls asked if they could have a cart. In my head I had the image of a nice, calm, shopping adventure in which they wanted to help out. How cute! In the end I’m very surprised we didn’t hear an announcement on the loud speaker asking us to leave the store.

This photograph can also help to sum up my days of Motherhood.

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My kids and I were sitting down enjoying a wonderful breakfast together, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, the table collapsed, fell apart, and that was the end of breakfast.

I’ve made plans. I’ve had dreams. I’ve had visions of how my life as a mother would play out. Only to realize that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, life can get very chaotic, and the best of schedules can give way, crumble, and leave me wondering if I’m really doing things right!

I’ve missed appointments, even though I have them written down on the calendar AND in my phone. I’ve forgotten about early dismissal days at school. I’ve locked my keys in the car way too many times to count. In fact, the last time I did that, the guy arrived to help me out and I realized it was the same guy from the time before. After a few minutes he did a double take and said, “Hey! Didn’t I help you out about two weeks ago on the opposite side of the street?” I was hoping he wouldn’t remember me!

I’ve closed the door to the house only to realize I just locked everybody out. I’ve sent my oldest to school with a brown paper bag full of onions instead of a brown paper bag full of lunch (I’ll explain that in another post!) I’ve run over bicycles left in the driveway. I’ve gotten lost on my way to gymnastic meets and basketball games more times then I’d like to admit. The list could go on and on. But, needless to say, I don’t have it all together! I’m always rushing from one place to the next wondering how I’m going to get it all done. I’m constantly trying to make sure Tommy, Steven, Leah, and Rachael have what they need and get to where they need to go. My house is always loud with children talking, yelling, laughing, fighting. And if that isn’t enough there’s always friends, nieces, nephews, and babies that need care.

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Chaos! But, I’m learning to love it. Because one day I know the Chaos will turn to quiet . There won’t be clothes on the floor, hand prints on the walls, dishes piled in the sink, homework to finish, and lunches to be made. The house will be too quiet and too clean and I’ll be left wondering, “how did they grow up so fast?”

So in the time being, in the chaos, I smile, I embrace it, I thank God for it. I look for the magnificent in the mess and the splendor in the silliness.

And it’s in the morning, when I walk into my child’s room to wake her up, that I find her artwork,

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And for the moment, the mistakes I’ve made and will make as a mother vanish, and I get that small glimmer of hope that I just might be doing things right. And I thank Christ for the privilege of being a mother and I realize that He truly can “make the chaos a chorus.”

“A few of our Favorite Things”

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chris6Working and working and working some more,
Going on business trips and to meetings galore.
Coaching my boys in my free time,
Paying for gymnastics with my very last dime.
Loving a home where children’s laughter rings,
These are a few of Chris’ favorite things.

familyWondering how many miles to run in a day,
Driving the family taxi without any pay.
Spending the day with four kids and their friends,
Enjoying this time for soon it will end.
Never knowing what the new day brings
These are a few of Suzanne’s favorite things.

tomWearing shorts all year without feeling a draft,
Filming Lego movies and living on Minecraft.
Playing football my opponents beware,
Getting ready for school with little time to spare.
Reminding Mom “don’t clip my wings”
These are a few of Tommy’s favorite things.

steve 4Playing basketball and baseball and football non-stop,
Hanging with Tommy, my sisters, and Pop.
Talking and talking no detail left out,
Reading and writing, subjects I could do without.
Trading my lunch for snacks my friends bring,
These are a few of Steven’s favorite things.

leahLoving the summer and days at the pool,
Being the fastest kid at the school.
Getting challenged to races during recess,
Wearing cute clothes but never a dress.
Being able to flip like my legs contain springs,
These are a few of Leah’s favorite things.

raeBeing a gymnast, an actress, and dancer,
Ask me a question, I’ll give the right answer.
Bendalina’s my name I can stretch in weird ways,
Wearing Dad out, I can truly amaze.
Living like a princess for the King of all kings,
These are a few of Rachael’s favorite things.

Mary and Joseph and the Christ Child,
A Savior awaited for quite a long while.
How divine, a beautiful night,
the darkness now filled with a Holy Light.
A gift of Salvation only Jesus brings,
These are a few of our family’s favorite things.

Merry Christmas!

Heaven

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I am sad that a man would plot evil against the innocent. I am sad that such a hideous act of violence would take the lives of the young. I am sad  that life is that easy to take away. I am angry that we live in a world that seems to glorify evil and yet when something terrible happens we are so quick to say, “Where was our good and loving God?” I am troubled that I feel sick in the pit of my stomach when I drive my kids to school. I’m troubled  that my heart hurts when I pick up my children from school.  I am heart-broken that I will never look at another child in the same way again. I am troubled that my emotions are so raw when I think about these things. I am heart-broken when I think of the little ones who were taken away so quickly. I am sickened when I think of the fear they must have felt. I am speechless when I think of the mom’s and dad’s who are feeling a heart-break and sadness that words cannot express. I am angry that we live in a cruel world. I am angry that there is so much darkness.

And yet God reminds me that he is the Great I Am.

I AM righteous anger. I AM peace. I AM joy.  I AM healing.  I AM good.  I AM eternal-life. I AM faithful.  I AM comfort. I AM forgiveness.  I AM hope.  I AM love. I AM  light. I  AM here. I WAS there. And I WILL still BE here. I AM anything and everything that you need me to be because I AM the Great I AM.

We must remember that “Heaven is not here, it’s There. If we were given all we wanted here our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.” (Elizabeth Elliott)

Heaven

“Where boys become Kings and girls become Queens, wrapped in your majesty.

And there “they will be brave and free and shout Your name in victory!” (Audio Adrenaline)

 

This was written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Smith, PA…

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 When 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.

Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear, But Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring Those children all flew into the arms of their King

And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, One small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”

Then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”

“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children, let me show you around.”

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

 

So this is Christmas…

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This year has gone by way too fast.  When Thanksgiving rolled around, I was still trying to get used to the fact that we weren’t spending our days at the pool anymore. And now, Christmas is right around the corner.  Wouldn’t it be nice to stop the clock and the deadlines in the business of this season and think about all the events that were taking place so many years ago…

Crimson shades of tattered white, a moonless night yet all is bright.

An ordinary man who had a dream, of impossible things, or so it seemed.

A child bride, a mere servant girl, carrying a baby that would change the world.

Two relatives startling an unborn Son, only to prove what had actually begun.

A cousin, set apart to lead the King’s way, to turn back hearts that have gone astray.

An order to travel to one’s own town, a difficult journey with a belly so round.

They could stay in the stable or so they were told, each innkeeper said all the rooms had been sold.

Shepherds and wise man each brought a gift, to lay at His feet our sins He would lift.

The King of all kings was born in a manger, humbled and quiet did his parents realize the danger?

A king afraid of losing reign, a baby born to carry the pain.

A spirit of death upon the earth, what Man has come with second birth?

A Godly man holds The Christ, warning Mary that there will be a price.

A prophetess sees God’s Salvation, and spreads the hope to a desperate nation.

A mother pondering all things in her heart, God’s Son would bring joy, but first torn apart.

His life lived for only one reason, He’s why we celebrate this Christmas season.

A baby born, to live to die, it’s tempting to ask the question why?

His story doesn’t stop at His birth, He died on the cross to give our lives worth.

But our story doesn’t end at His grave, He’s risen again our souls He can save.

So let us bow down our lives to give, we need to die to fully live.

 

Ruth Bell Graham says it well, “This is Christmas – the real meaning of it. God loving, searching; giving Himself – to us. Man needing; receiving, giving himself – to God. Redemption’s glorious exchange of gifts! Without which we cannot live; Without which we cannot give to those we love anything of lasting value.  This is the meaning of Christmas – the wonder and the glory of it.”