Tag Archives: children

Tommy’s Surgery

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“When everything seems to be going wrong, refuse to get discouraged. Remember that I am a God of surprises; I am not limited by the way things are or by the paltry possibilities you can see. I am infinitely creative and powerful.” (Jesus Today)

I know there are far worse things Tommy could be going through than a second knee surgery. But, to a 17 year old, who just, eleven months earlier endured the pain of an ACL injury, reconstructive surgery, and months of physical therapy in order to get back on the football field, it is frustrating.

As I sat in the waiting room, the same waiting room I was in less than a year ago, I knew the procedure was turning out to be more than just his meniscus. The minutes dragged on, and soon a half hour became an hour, and an hour became two, and when it came close to three hours my heart was hurting for my son. A three hour knee surgery isn’t a good sign.

Finally, the procedure was over and while we were waiting for Tommy to “wake-up,” the doctor told us that he had found and repaired small tears in both of Tommy’s menisci. He also had to revise the ACL with a cadaver graft and remove the previous screw from his tibia. Thankfully, he was able to work around the screw in his femur, and now Tommy has a few more screws and a washer to hold his ACL firmly in place. We were also told his cartilage is already showing signs of arthritis.

As the doctor was talking I was thinking about Tommy, and how, right before he went into surgery he said to me, “When you find out it’s just my meniscus will you please text coach and let him know.” I was worried how he would mentally feel when he found out that this was not the surgery he wanted. We had prayed over and over again that when the doctor operated he would find Tommy’s ACL perfectly intact and only have to fix a small tear in his meniscus. We wanted a simple surgery and a short recovery process. I was worried that Tommy was going to feel discouraged and disappointed not only with the outcome, but with God. Wondering why, after we had prayed so hard for different results, He would allow Tommy to go through this again. Another extensive surgery. Months of physical therapy. And another football season lost. It was hard not to feel disappointed for Tommy. Defeat was written all over his face.

It’s tempting to ask God the question, “Why?” But, we don’t. We haven’t questioned His plan, because when this injury first occurred we knew the outcome was already in God’s hands. So yes, of course we prayed it would be a simple surgery, but we also knew we were praying with tunnel vision. God’s plan would come to be, not our simple plan. We can’t even began to grasp the mind of Christ and the plans He has for us and for Tommy. But we are certain they are “plans for good,” (Jeremiah 29:11) even when we don’t understand the path He is leading us down. We trust He is a loving and faithful God. Always present. Always waiting for us to seek Him. To find Him. And when we look, He is there. Waiting with His surprises, creativity, and power. So, instead of asking why, we wait. We wait with thanksgiving, with anticipation, knowing that God can use Tommy’s disappointment to reveal God’s glory in a way that we can’t even fathom or imagine.

Thanks to all who prayed, texted, or emailed before, during, and after Tommy’s surgery.

Waiting, Patiently Waiting Part I

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“Wait patiently for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)

Wait patiently? That seems like an oxymoron!? I don’t like to wait. In fact, I don’t know many people who enjoy waiting. Waiting is the last thing we seem to have time for when immediate gratification is at our fingertips. But yet, God instructs us to wait, and not only wait, but wait patiently.

Recently, I’ve been reminded just how much of life consists of waiting. Every day, every week, every month, every year we are left waiting. Waiting for a new promotion, waiting for health to be restored, waiting for a second chance, waiting for reconciliation in a relationship, waiting for test results, waiting to overcome hardships, struggles, addictions, and so on and so on. How do we find the strength to wait patiently for the Lord?

I was given the perfect imagery for this waiting process when I went out to water our little herb plants. (How they’ve survived under my care is a great mystery. I wasn’t given a green thumb and my kids are convinced that I can kill a plant just by looking at it!) But on this day, camouflaged in the parsley, I found this little creature nibbling it’s way up the herb. How Beautiful! He was perfect! Stunning! I was amazed at God’s handiwork and the intrinsic designs on this caterpillar.

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 When I showed him to my girls, of course, they wanted to put him in a jar and create the ideal habitat for him to wrap himself into a cocoon.

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We watched as he scarfed down the parsley and climbed his way to the perfect spot on the twig. We even noticed as he maneuvered into an awkward position and spun his first piece of silk.

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Within the next few hours we saw him transform from a remarkable caterpillar into a cocoon.

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A cocoon that is now far from beautiful. It appears ugly and worn. Where is the artistry, the elegance, the grace?  This is the waiting. The point in which life is put on hold. Limbo. Knowing what once was, but not sure of what’s to come. The waiting. A hard stop in life. Waiting.

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“What will it look like? What will it be like? When my world turns out like you planned. When will I get there? Feels like I’m nowhere. My dreams are like dust in my hand. But I know, this is the waiting. I anxiously wait, as I hold on to love that won’t ever let go, and in these times when my patience is tested, won’t you remind me that I’m not alone, here in the waiting.” (Jamie Grace)

Waiting, Waiting Patiently for Part II

I WILL RISE

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I WILL RISE

“Do not gloat over me my enemy. Though I have fallen, I WILL RISE.” (Micah 7:8)This poster of Tommy has been hanging in his room since his knee surgery in October 2014. This year we thought it would serve as a reminder of how far he has come. Little did we know that in less than a year he would not be playing in his first varsity football game, but instead be facing the same surgery. So the picture…

It reminds us that not only in football, but in life, we go to battle over and over again. Each time rising back up with more bruises and scars, sometimes feeling as if we can’t go another round. It hurts too much. It would be easier to give up and not get back up and fight, but we know through all the ups and downs God’s power can draw us closer to Him and He can use our wounds for His glory. The enemy can not gloat over us because, “The Lord will fight for us and we need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14) We have no reason to worry when we know the One who holds the Victor’s Crown.

Beautiful Chaos

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This picture can serve as a good representation of my life as a mother. Chaos!

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I’m not even sure who took the picture. Maybe the store manager to warn his employees not to let us back into the store.

My oldest child, Tommy, is obviously mad at something. Rachael is out of control flying her cart into who knows what and in the process taking out whatever is in her path. Leah looks like she’s trying to be on her best behavior, and then Steven is MIA. Chaos. Not at all what I pictured our quick stop at the grocery store to look like!

When we walked into the store the girls asked if they could have a cart. In my head I had the image of a nice, calm, shopping adventure in which they wanted to help out. How cute! In the end I’m very surprised we didn’t hear an announcement on the loud speaker asking us to leave the store.

This photograph can also help to sum up my days of Motherhood.

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My kids and I were sitting down enjoying a wonderful breakfast together, when all of a sudden, out of the blue, the table collapsed, fell apart, and that was the end of breakfast.

I’ve made plans. I’ve had dreams. I’ve had visions of how my life as a mother would play out. Only to realize that sometimes, no matter how hard I try, life can get very chaotic, and the best of schedules can give way, crumble, and leave me wondering if I’m really doing things right!

I’ve missed appointments, even though I have them written down on the calendar AND in my phone. I’ve forgotten about early dismissal days at school. I’ve locked my keys in the car way too many times to count. In fact, the last time I did that, the guy arrived to help me out and I realized it was the same guy from the time before. After a few minutes he did a double take and said, “Hey! Didn’t I help you out about two weeks ago on the opposite side of the street?” I was hoping he wouldn’t remember me!

I’ve closed the door to the house only to realize I just locked everybody out. I’ve sent my oldest to school with a brown paper bag full of onions instead of a brown paper bag full of lunch (I’ll explain that in another post!) I’ve run over bicycles left in the driveway. I’ve gotten lost on my way to gymnastic meets and basketball games more times then I’d like to admit. The list could go on and on. But, needless to say, I don’t have it all together! I’m always rushing from one place to the next wondering how I’m going to get it all done. I’m constantly trying to make sure Tommy, Steven, Leah, and Rachael have what they need and get to where they need to go. My house is always loud with children talking, yelling, laughing, fighting. And if that isn’t enough there’s always friends, nieces, nephews, and babies that need care.

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Chaos! But, I’m learning to love it. Because one day I know the Chaos will turn to quiet . There won’t be clothes on the floor, hand prints on the walls, dishes piled in the sink, homework to finish, and lunches to be made. The house will be too quiet and too clean and I’ll be left wondering, “how did they grow up so fast?”

So in the time being, in the chaos, I smile, I embrace it, I thank God for it. I look for the magnificent in the mess and the splendor in the silliness.

And it’s in the morning, when I walk into my child’s room to wake her up, that I find her artwork,

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And for the moment, the mistakes I’ve made and will make as a mother vanish, and I get that small glimmer of hope that I just might be doing things right. And I thank Christ for the privilege of being a mother and I realize that He truly can “make the chaos a chorus.”

“A few of our Favorite Things”

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chris6Working and working and working some more,
Going on business trips and to meetings galore.
Coaching my boys in my free time,
Paying for gymnastics with my very last dime.
Loving a home where children’s laughter rings,
These are a few of Chris’ favorite things.

familyWondering how many miles to run in a day,
Driving the family taxi without any pay.
Spending the day with four kids and their friends,
Enjoying this time for soon it will end.
Never knowing what the new day brings
These are a few of Suzanne’s favorite things.

tomWearing shorts all year without feeling a draft,
Filming Lego movies and living on Minecraft.
Playing football my opponents beware,
Getting ready for school with little time to spare.
Reminding Mom “don’t clip my wings”
These are a few of Tommy’s favorite things.

steve 4Playing basketball and baseball and football non-stop,
Hanging with Tommy, my sisters, and Pop.
Talking and talking no detail left out,
Reading and writing, subjects I could do without.
Trading my lunch for snacks my friends bring,
These are a few of Steven’s favorite things.

leahLoving the summer and days at the pool,
Being the fastest kid at the school.
Getting challenged to races during recess,
Wearing cute clothes but never a dress.
Being able to flip like my legs contain springs,
These are a few of Leah’s favorite things.

raeBeing a gymnast, an actress, and dancer,
Ask me a question, I’ll give the right answer.
Bendalina’s my name I can stretch in weird ways,
Wearing Dad out, I can truly amaze.
Living like a princess for the King of all kings,
These are a few of Rachael’s favorite things.

Mary and Joseph and the Christ Child,
A Savior awaited for quite a long while.
How divine, a beautiful night,
the darkness now filled with a Holy Light.
A gift of Salvation only Jesus brings,
These are a few of our family’s favorite things.

Merry Christmas!

Heaven

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I am sad that a man would plot evil against the innocent. I am sad that such a hideous act of violence would take the lives of the young. I am sad  that life is that easy to take away. I am angry that we live in a world that seems to glorify evil and yet when something terrible happens we are so quick to say, “Where was our good and loving God?” I am troubled that I feel sick in the pit of my stomach when I drive my kids to school. I’m troubled  that my heart hurts when I pick up my children from school.  I am heart-broken that I will never look at another child in the same way again. I am troubled that my emotions are so raw when I think about these things. I am heart-broken when I think of the little ones who were taken away so quickly. I am sickened when I think of the fear they must have felt. I am speechless when I think of the mom’s and dad’s who are feeling a heart-break and sadness that words cannot express. I am angry that we live in a cruel world. I am angry that there is so much darkness.

And yet God reminds me that he is the Great I Am.

I AM righteous anger. I AM peace. I AM joy.  I AM healing.  I AM good.  I AM eternal-life. I AM faithful.  I AM comfort. I AM forgiveness.  I AM hope.  I AM love. I AM  light. I  AM here. I WAS there. And I WILL still BE here. I AM anything and everything that you need me to be because I AM the Great I AM.

We must remember that “Heaven is not here, it’s There. If we were given all we wanted here our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.” (Elizabeth Elliott)

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“Where boys become Kings and girls become Queens, wrapped in your majesty.

And there “they will be brave and free and shout Your name in victory!” (Audio Adrenaline)

 

This was written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Smith, PA…

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 When 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.

Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

“Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

When what to their wondering eyes did appear, But Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring Those children all flew into the arms of their King

And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, One small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”

Then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”

“May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”

Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children, let me show you around.”

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

 

Don’t Ignore The Rooster!

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The alarm goes off at 5:30 and I don’t even give it a second thought.  There’s NO way I’m getting up and going for a run that early. I’ll wait, set the alarm for 6am and get up then. 6am comes too soon. I’m too tired. I’ll try 6:15. Nope, that’s not going to work either. Now, after hitting the snooze button for the third time, I’m awake enough to think about my day. I decide I’d rather sleep! After all, I am pretty tired, and I only have 8 miles on my training schedule.  I’ll certainly be able to carve out an hour later in the day to get it done.

However, also at this point, I’m tossing and turning, feeling kind of guilty for not getting up early and realizing how busy NOT running, (before the kids wake up) is going to make my day. Well, now it’s 7:02, I might as well get up, make coffee, and get the day started. And, then I realize I just don’t have an hour of running today, I also have an hour of strength training. Hmmm…great, this is now going to be more of a challenge than I thought.

By 8:15 I have my two girls up, showered, dressed and ready to go. My 3 year old niece slept-over so she is also up and ready to go home. My boys, moving a bit slower, are at least up and fed. I really need to leave the house at 8:30 so I can be at my first store visit (for Saucony) by 9:00…

So here’s how the rest of the day goes…

8:37 – Left the house

9:02 – Dropped Emma off at my Brother’s house in Wheaton.

9:20 – Arrive at Dick’s Sporting Goods Store in Lombard – store visit complete. Drive to DSG store in Oswego – complete. Drive to DSG store in Yorkville – complete. Drive to DSG store in Geneva – complete.

12:12 – Racing home in order to get Tommy to an orthodontist appointment in Wheaton at 12:30. Never going to make it on time! Why did I think a 12:30 appointment would fit into our schedule today?

12:35 – Arrive at the orthodontist, ONLY  5 minutes late. Man, I’m good! (I’ve always prided myself on being an “on-time” person. Even with three kids I never arrived late to anything! However, after having my 4th child, my thoughts of “on-time” meant that  I had a buffer of 5-10 minutes.) It’s so hard to get anywhere “on-time” anymore.

12:36 – Walking to the door of the office, wondering why all the lights are off!? Hmmm….odd. Turning the door handle to the office and finding it LOCKED!? Are you kidding me!?  I know his appointment was today.

12:37 – Oh well, I’ll get in the car, call the office, re-schedule the appointment.  Now, time has just opened up for me to get my run in when I get home! Sweet! ( :

12:39 – In the car, cell phone rings, it’s the orthodontist asking if I’m bringing Tommy in for his appointment today? What!? I was just at your office and YOU’RE not there. Oh, that’s because the Dr. is working out of the Woodridge office today!? I didn’t realize there were two offices. How far is it from the Wheaton office? “15 minutes.” Ok, I can probably do that, but I have to get my daughter to gymnastics by 2:30. “That’s no problem, once you get here it will only take a few minutes.” Ok, we’ll be there by 1!

1:05 – Arrive at orthodontist…

1:25 – Still at orthodontist

1:44 – Waiting…..at orthodontist

1:57 – STILL waiting at orthodontist…I guess I have a different concept of exactly what a FEW minutes means. UGH!

2:00 – REALLY TRYING HARD TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE! Finally, I have to give in and call Chris and ask him if he can get Leah to gymnastics.

2:03 – Receive phone call from Leah. She is crying. Why? Well of course, her gymnastics’ bag and grips are in the trunk of my car. “I promise you, honey, I will have it to practice before you are done warming-up!”

2:18 – FINALLY, leave the orthodontist office. Next appointment is scheduled for this Thursday at 2pm – I was told it will take an hour. Hmmmm…..

2:44 – Arrive home, Chris kindly offers to drive Leah’s bag to gymnastics for me. Thank you!! Feed the kids a quick lunch! Yes, I know it’s a little past the traditional lunch hour…my bad!

2:49 – I have 61 minutes to complete a 60 minute strength workout. No problem.

3:45 – Drive Rachael to gymnastics – arrive ON-TIME! (Although, I’m still wearing workout clothes and sweating from the strength workout…haha)

4:15 – Again 65 minutes to squeeze in a 60 minute run – Yep, No problem!

5:20 – Get boys ready for football practice, arrive at practice ON-TIME! Amazing!

6:00 – Pick up Leah from gymnastics…wait until 6:15 when Rachael’s finished with practice.

6:30 – Back to football practice – to actually watch the boys on their first night to see how it goes.

8:00 – Home, dinner, get kids ready for bed.

8:55 – Thinking tomorrow will be more of the same. However, this time when the alarm goes off,  there is No question that I’m swinging my tired legs out of bed and getting my workout done early!

People always wonder how I run when I have four kids. Well, I guess this is how a mother of four, trying to train and race at her best gets it done.

Good News concerning Lydia

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Last night I was able to see Lydia for the first time. She is a trooper, that’s for sure! She is hooked up to so many machines and is on a lot of medication for only being 4 days old! It was heart-breaking to see her cry. Her little body would tense and tears rolled down her face, but because of the breathing tube, no sound came out. It has to be so frustrating for Andrew and Jena to not be able to pick her up and comfort her.

At 6:30 the Doctor came in to check on her and said that, “She was forcing his hand,” to remove the ventilator and take out the breathing tube. She was at the point where she was doing most of her breathing on her own and keeping the ventilator in would be (almost) over-protecting her. He said he was going to come back in an hour and make a decision then.

It wasn’t until 11pm, last night, that I got a text from Jena saying that the ventilator was turned off and they were going to remove the breathing tube. At midnight, she sent another text saying that everything went great.  Lydia was sleeping and the next hour would be a good indicator of her progress.

This morning, Jena said, the dopamine, anitbiotics, and fentanyl would be given to Lydia as needed. She is being weaned off of the steriod she was on and they have discontinued all other drugs! They will take the artrial catheter out today and then hopefully, Jena and Andrew will be able to finally hold her! AND, Lydia is breathing 100% on her own without any problems. Please continue to pray that there will not be a set-back in progress!

The nurse said that Lydia has dumb-founded the staff at Children’s. She was transferred there because they were going to do a possible ECMO. In ECMO is basically a life-saving technique that mimics the natural function of the heart and lungs, allowing an infant to rest while healing takes place. The procedure involves channeling the patient’s blood into a roller pump that serves as the child’s heart throughout treatment. The pump sends the blood through an oxygenator, which serves an as artificial lung, infusing the blood with oxygen and removing carbon dioxide and returning it to the patient. However, within 30 minutes of being at Children’s, Lydia started to show improvement. So much improvement, in fact, that the ECMO did not have to be implemented. The progress and recovery has been incredible! Of course, while the Nurses say they are dumb-founded we know that credit must be given where credit belongs. How great it is to know the mercy-giving, healing-hand of God.

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Jena, Andrew, and Lydia. Please continue to pray for the journey ahead. We do not know how long Lydia will remain at Children’s and we pray that she will continue to improve and stay healthy beyond anyone’s comprehension!

(This is the most recent picture of Lydia after all of the machines, etc have been removed.)

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“When Our World is Shaking…Heaven Stands” Update on Baby Lydia

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“I have unanswered prayers, I have trouble I wish wasn’t there, And I have asked a thousand ways, That you would take my pain away. I am trying to understand, How to walk this weary land, Make straight the paths that crooked lie, Oh Lord, before these feet of mine. When my world is shaking, heaven stands, When my heart is breaking I never leave your hands…”

Jena, my sister, was R.E.A.D.Y. to have her baby! So, when the Doctors decided that they would induce her on Wednesday, July 25th she (we) couldn’t be more excited. We already knew she was having a girl. In fact, Jena and Andrew had already picked out the perfect name for her, Lydia Grace. Now all that was left to do, was for Jena to HAVE the baby so we could finally meet her face to face.

I actually had left on Monday evening to take my kids to our cabin in Wisconsin. I figured, Jena would have Lydia sometime on Wednesday and be in the hospital until Friday, surrounded by enough family who wanted to see and hold the baby. So, I decided it would be better for me to wait until she was home and then take my kids to her house to introduce them to their new cousin. My plans were pretty much cemented when Andrew sent me the first couple pictures of Lydia, telling us that “All was well!” I couldn’t wait to meet this sweet, little, precious bundle of joy!

And then the storm hit. What should have been two very peaceful days in the hospital, for Andrew and Jena, snuggling and bonding with their newborn daughter, turned into a tailspin of horrifying news and events.

The nurse came into the room to get Lydia in order to check her vitals and give her a bath. She was suppose to be gone for approximately one hour. She was gone for a lot longer than 60 minutes and they were left in the dark for quite a while as to what was happening with their baby. It was so hard for them to get answers. And, when they finally received information they were told that Lydia was experiencing Persistent Pulmonary Hypertension.

On Thursday evening, Lydia went into surgery to have a breathing tube inserted. Thankfully, the surgery went well and she was put on a ventilator. However, unbeknownst, to Andrew and Jena, Lydia struggled throughout the night. On Friday, she was taken off the original ventilator and put on a new one. It was set to provide her with 100% oxygen. Without the machines Lydia would not have been able to survive. However, she wasn’t responding well and was in very critical condition. The Doctor decided it was time to transfer her to Children’s Memorial Hospital.

As of today, Lydia is in stable condition. Her heart rate, which went up to 218, is at 118 and they have been able to decrease the oxygen from 100% to 22% this morning. That is good news. She is definitely not “out of the woods” yet but is in a better place both, physically and hospital-wise, for which we are thankful!

Jena and Andrew have a better understanding after being at Children’s and are in a much better state of mind.  They have told Jena and encouraged her to touch Lydia. She will be able to hold her, hopefully later today! Jena texted my mom yesterday and said, “Remember, we have a direct line to the Blessed Controller of all things!”  It has been overwhelming and amazing to see the out-pouring of prayer concerning Lydia. We are so glad that we believe in a God who hears our prayers and meets us where we are.  The last two days have been full of non-stop prayer. I hope that not only in our “valleys” but also on the “summits” we “pour out our heart like water to the Lord.” It reminds me of the song “Cry out to Jesus,” by Third Day.

“There is hope for the helpless, Rest for the weary, Love for the broken heart, There is grace and forgiveness, Mercy and healing, He’ll meet you wherever you are, Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus”

Lastly, what came as a surprise to us was never a surprise to our Heavenly Father. Life, in this situation, as it often times does, did not play out how we expected. What was a total shock and turn of events for us did not take Christ off guard. He was and is in control. He knew exactly what Lydia would face and is still facing. He knew that we would be balancing between life and death, releasing and placing Lydia in His ever-faithful hands. What a privilege it is to know that He was and is in control of this situation, trusting that He is a good God and He does NOT change. No matter the outcome of any situation He remains good. And our response in good times and in bad times should be…

Oh Praise Him, Oh Praise Him, He is Holy”